THE TURKEY MARATHON

Rated Unknown

Location: Alamo Downtown

THE TURKEY MARATHON
Sat, 11/26, 9:45 pm Downtown

It's Thanksgiving weekend. For us that means Turkey and togetherness. So why don't we all get together and watch some Turkeys, otherwise known as bad movies. That's not to say they aren't some of our favorite movies ever. In fact if we were on a sinking ship and we had to save either the last print of CITIZEN KANE or the last print of BLOOD FREAK, we'd have to light up a cigarette and think about it. So with our great affection for these cinematic outcasts we'd like to invite you to share the warmth as these amazingly entertaining cluckers strut their way across our screen. (Lars)

The lineup:

1. BLOOD FREAK: This made-in-Florida poultry-monster extravaganza represents the outer limits of what man can hope to achieve in the arena of bad cinema. Like Michelangelo's frescoes on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, we can understand easily enough the means by which the work itself has been accomplished. What we cannot fully comprehend is the genius which pervades every frame of this remarkable piece of shit. Steve Hawkes stars as a sideburned Elvis-look biker with a drug problem who is recruited as a guinea pig by two unscrupulous poultry technicians to eat an experimental turkey of some sort. Not surprisingly, he turns into a giant turkey-headed drug addict with a thirst for blood, blood, and more blood. In between the brutal and hilarious murders are scenes in which the turkey-man gets laid, shoots up, and finds Jesus. Say no to drugs, OK?

2. SILENT NIGHT DEADLY NIGHT: Parents' groups were up in arms when this famous Santa-Claus-on-a-killing-spree movie hit theaters. And they were right! It's horrifying. It's also one of the funniest movies we've ever seen. A personal favorite of both Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez, who acted out the amazing opening scene of this film on our downtown stage this summer during Tarantino's film fest. If you've been good all year maybe we'll play the tape for you.

3. DARKTOWN STRUTTERS: A little bit hard to describe this one because you'll never believe us, but suffice to say, it's one of a kind. Let's just say that if your tastes in movies are anything like ours the sight of a gorgeous all-African-American female biker gang is a sight for sore eyes. And when they square off against the Klan and a racist Colonel Sanders lookalike over women's reproductive freedom, we're with them all the way! Completely mindblowing.

4. INFRAMAN: After three unbelievably amazing movies like those above it's going to take something pretty special to wrap things up. So it's with pride in our hearts that we offer up this completely whacked-out fast paced Shaw Brothers sci-fi action classic. This movie has the greatest villain ever - Princess Dragon Mom (!), a beautiful asian woman who dresses like a Wagnerian Valkyrie, complete with blonde wig. Plus giant robot kung fu and the shabbiest looking collection of monsters ever. Possibly the greatest thing mankind has ever accomplished.

Kid Policy: 18 and up; Children 6 and up will be allowed only with a parent or guardian. No children under the age of 6 will be allowed.

Screenings (click on a show time to buy tickets): No Shows Found